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At first, silence. A static white of nothing on and on as far as consciousness could perceive. Then a name: Rowen. A consciousness without a body and without a soul and without description. And then, the universe winked to life. Words coalesced into blood, sinew, clothing and grey matter. It flowed out to form buildings, thoughts, dreams, stars. Concepts such as ‘justice’ and ‘love’.
In the dark there was a woman. In her hand there was a gun.
Dark eyes, dark hair, dark intentions were all written into her being. But, that was the sum of her simple words and clumsy sentences. Hesitant in her first attempts at speech, the creature called out.
“Excuse me? Is anybody there?” she asked.
Biting her lip, Rowan put the gun in its holster at her side, took a cap off of her head, and began to wring the rim in her hands. And then she waited. The dawn of man came and Rowen waited. Stars were born and stars died. And in one little corner of the multiverse, humanity began its first fumbling steps towards space. In the Year after Colony 195, war was happening. Six rebel mobile suit pilots, well mostly one, fought a lonely war. Ok, maybe it couldn’t have been too lonely, given the amount of hankie pinkie that went on during it—specifically between all six of those Gundam pilots. Jesus Christ you would think they didn’t, you know, have a war to fight given all the time they spent cavorting around private schools and spending weekends on the beach.
The universe wished it could pause itself and puzzle out exactly what was wrong. Because it was sure that something wasn’t quite right, like an itch just out of reach. It didn’t even notice as a portal yawned open, deposited two Agents in black in a school broom closet, and ping!ed away. Muffled movements came from within.
“Say Hel, people are going to start saying things about us if we keep portaling into compri…compro…compppp…” Agent Aconite muttered to herself, unable to both come up with a synonym for ‘compromising’, and use a doorknob, at the same time. Her partner, Agent Hellebore, solved both problems by kicking a hole through the door, reaching around, and unlocking it.
“Embarrassing, Aconite,” she supplied, stepping into the light. Hellebore was a she only in the sense that Hellebore wasn’t male. Really, she was a juvinile of a certain space-faring species that was still too young to develop any sexual characteristics and therefore had no gender. But, it was easier for the PPC to lump ‘her’ and Aconite into the female category, since technically in the future they would be able to bear young. Anyway.
Both Agents were less lithe and more wirey, almost pointy with lean muscle and limbs far too long to be human. Their skin was a warm grey speckled with tiny charcoal-colored scales on their forehead and nose ridge. But, that was where the similarities ended.
Hellebore had to practically unfold from the closet, close to six foot eight inches in height. She had torn off the sleeves from her standard issue uniform, and the legs of the uniform looked like rather awkward capris on her. Aconite was a sprite by comparison, four foot eleven inches in height and relatively heavy when compared to Hellebore.
Their footsteps echoed in the empty school hallway, reflections glinting off of the polished floor. Aconite looked at her forearm, frowned, and then pulled a device from her uniform pocket. She hit it a few times before an illusion flickered over both Agents, giving them a teenage human appearance complete with a burgundy school uniform.
As Aconite exited the closet she scratched at the unfamiliar hair on her head. She then turned to her partner, and snorted with laughter. Hellebore’s knee-length skirt was toeing the line between just plain ridiculous and scandalously short. What was knee length on the average Japanese teenage girl was just not that long on Hellebore. Hellebore shrugged. Anyone who got a peek may as well be looking at a Ken doll. Both Agents hauled a pair of black duffel bags out of the closet, and jogged to the other end of the school. There was a prom to crash.
By the time that Aconite and Hellebore arrived, the party was well under way. Possibly the only disco ball left in the year after Colony 195 cast swirling specks of light all over the gym walls. Magenta light from the strings of Christmas lights gave the entire room a ~womantic~ glow just dim enough so that the strangely absent chaperones wouldn’t be able to make out the makings out in every corner of the gymnasium.
Hellebore took out a notebook and pencil, licked the end of the pencil and took some careful notes regarding one couple who had managed to get their braces stuck together. Aconite elbowed the other agent in the side, muttered something about unhealthy obsessions with human mating rituals and scanned the party. It wasn’t hard to spot the Mary Sue. A heart-shaped spotlight outlined a girl with a rather disproportionately sized chest against the dance floor while Heero Yui and Duo Maxwell tussled on the floor. Presumably over her. Her gravity-defying bosoms jiggled with every breath she took as she made a token effort to stop the two Gundam pilots from fighting.
Threats were made. Honor was called into question. Mary soliloquized on the nature of war. Aconite licked her lips and wrote down ‘comparing squabbling hormonal teenagers to war,’ and looked thoughtful. Bored, Hellebore inspected the snack bar, shoving heart-shaped cookies and pate into her mouth, along with the utensils. Silverware groaned and screeched against the Agent’s formidable teeth, and ultimately gave up. But, none could hear it over the pulsing tunes.
Aconite joined her partner behind the snack bar.
“I say we get her when she’s in the bathroom giving birth to her, Duo, and Heero’s tri-parent baby. Seems pretty natural of a thing or two to happen at prom. Death and babies,” Aconite said.
Hellebore swallowed, then opened her mouth to reveal rows upon rows of shiny silver-colored teeth in nightmare-inducing quantities and shapes. The tall Agent was about to say something when some microphone feedback caused the rest of the party goers to face the stage.
“Excuse me. Is there a ‘Mary-Sue’ here?” A girl wearing white pants, black knee-high boots, and an olive green uniform jacket trimmed in burgundy and gold shifted her eyes back and forth.
The story paused, confused. Then it shifted its attention to Mary-Sue for confirmation. In the background, Heero and Duo continued the most pathetic fist-fight in their lives. Heero’s tuxedo shirt ripped.
“Excuse me?” Mary’s eyes shifted from a concerned brown to an angry red.
“Who are you and what are you doing? You’re ruining my prom! I’m supposed to go into labor in three minutes,” The buxom girl made a ‘shoo’ motion with her hand.
“Well, my name is Rowen. I…I’m here to kill you. I think,” The uniformed girl pulled out a photo of Mary wearing a school uniform with a gaping blouse.
“I’ve got this picture and a gun and everything,” her voice wavered with uncertainty, but conviction levels were rising.
“I waited and waited. And then I kept waiting, and you never came. So I waited some more, and now you’re here, so I’m going to do the thing with the gun,” Rowen said.
As the uniformed girl began fumbling with her gun holster, Aconite choked on a mini-quiche. Hellebore ignored her suffocating partner and pointed a small device at the stage. It flashed a few times before reading out:
[ Rowen. Human Female. Non-Canon. Bit-Character ]
“Can I bit do that? Go against the story?” Hellebore murmured.
Aconite tried to cough, and started turning red in the face. The tall Agent stared off into space, skimming the Words to find a solution to the problem. During that time, Aconite slapped herself on the back, punched herself in the stomach, and began turning a little purple.
“Put that away and go back to where you were. It’s not time for me to die yet!” Mary yelled, hands on her hips.
Rowan paused, and bit her lip again.
“But, I’m really really tired of waiting. Can’t I just do the thing now?” She asked.
“Absolutely not! Get out of here, or I’ll replace you with someone else!” Mary’s voice rose further.
With Mary’s concentration wavering, a few students began to muddle their way back to normality. A few started looking around, bewildered at why they were in a gym when their school didn’t even have a gym. Or why they were at a party hosted at a school and there were no adults present. Then someone screamed.
“She’s got a gun!”
The gymnasium erupted into chaos. Students screamed and ducked for cover, several running out of the building and into the night.
“…I’m going to do it,” Rowan said after a near minute of consideration.
Mary took her attention off of Rowan, only to realize that her own control over the situation had collapsed. She screeched, hair turning a bright red and eyes glowing.
Rowan jumped, and took a step backwards.
“I’ll do it,” she said, fear evident in her expression.
Even the wrestling Gundam pilots sensed something was wrong. Heero jumped to his feet, reaching for the gun that should have been there but wasn’t. Duo scratched at his head, trying to fight off the Suvian influence that had wavered just enough for a slip of free will to gain a foothold. Mary roared.
A single pistol rapport rang out above the screams. Silence fell. Aconite finally hacked up a mini quiche after nearly impaling herself on an upside down chair.
Mary looked down, shock spread thick across her face as she watched the blood gush out of her torso. She tried to draw in a breath to say something, but her ruined lung wouldn't take in any air. Aconite drew in a deep breath, puffed out her cheeks and then yelled, “What the shit!”
Rowen dropped the gun, surprised at the result. It clattered to the wooden floor, but failed to discharge. The uniformed young woman looked around the rapidly emptying gym for someone, anyone, to confirm that she had done right.
“I just. I just waited for so long. I waited for so long and she wouldn’t let me do anything…” The bit character’s voice trailed off.
“No no no! Someone stop all of those background characters! I can’t catch them all to neuralyze them!” Aconite tore at her disguise’s hair.
“Forget about them for the moment. We’ve got bigger trouble on our hands,” Hellebore inclined her head towards Rowan and the two Gundam pilots.
The Character Analysis Device began spewing out readings, correcting itself and flashing back and forth between designations. With Mary-Sue’s influence over the fan fic fading, canon was beginning to re-establish itself in spurts and starts. The gun that should have been there materialized, and a pair of black spandex shorts appeared under Heero’s tuxedo pants. Now very aware of the strangeness of the situation, the pilot swung his gun around from target to target. Apparent OZ soldier with gun. Duo. Dying Mary Sue. Duo. The two suspicious students hiding behind the snack table. Duo. OZ soldier. Himself. Before he could decide on who to shoot first, the teenager felt rumbling beneath his formal shoes.
Words swarmed like angry ants, dissolving away from the structures and snacks that they made up into a furious wind inside the gymnasium. Walls groaned and window glass shattered. Both Agents felt a burning sensation, and rolled up the sleeves of their uniform disguises. Each one of them had a white plastic bracelet around their wrists, and each was quickly turning from white, to pink, to red.
“We’re being deleted,” Hellebore stated in a dead-pan.
“What about the—” Aconite began.
“Never mind it. We need to portal, and now. Grab that bit while you’re at it. Headquarters will want to study her,” Hellebore slung both duffle bags over her shoulders and slid a pair of sunglasses over her eyes. Her partner followed suit with a pair of hello-kitty sunglasses. Aconite grinned, fishing a pen-like object out of her pocket, then spun the dial on the Neuralyzer to ‘room’ and pressed the blinking button. A white flash bright enough to blind went off. The wind still howled and the words still ripped themselves apart. But, Duo Maxwell, Heero Yui, and Rowen all stared, slackjawed, as their memories were wiped.
Aconite replaced the neuralyzer in its proper pocket, then pressed a few buttons on another device. A glowing blue portal yawned open under Rowan, causing her to land unceremoniously on her ass in a concrete room. Aconite was the second through, landing on top of the bit character and causing her some amount of distress.
Agent Aconite. A familiar psychic ‘voice’ began, ready to scold up a storm. The face of a sunflower in a grey suit turned towards Rowan.
What is that, and where is Agent— Hellebore came through the portal, landing on top of Aconite and severely squishing Rowan.
Hellebore.
And the world went dark.
In the dark there was a woman. In her hand there was a gun.
Dark eyes, dark hair, dark intentions were all written into her being. But, that was the sum of her simple words and clumsy sentences. Hesitant in her first attempts at speech, the creature called out.
“Excuse me? Is anybody there?” she asked.
Biting her lip, Rowan put the gun in its holster at her side, took a cap off of her head, and began to wring the rim in her hands. And then she waited. The dawn of man came and Rowen waited. Stars were born and stars died. And in one little corner of the multiverse, humanity began its first fumbling steps towards space. In the Year after Colony 195, war was happening. Six rebel mobile suit pilots, well mostly one, fought a lonely war. Ok, maybe it couldn’t have been too lonely, given the amount of hankie pinkie that went on during it—specifically between all six of those Gundam pilots. Jesus Christ you would think they didn’t, you know, have a war to fight given all the time they spent cavorting around private schools and spending weekends on the beach.
The universe wished it could pause itself and puzzle out exactly what was wrong. Because it was sure that something wasn’t quite right, like an itch just out of reach. It didn’t even notice as a portal yawned open, deposited two Agents in black in a school broom closet, and ping!ed away. Muffled movements came from within.
“Say Hel, people are going to start saying things about us if we keep portaling into compri…compro…compppp…” Agent Aconite muttered to herself, unable to both come up with a synonym for ‘compromising’, and use a doorknob, at the same time. Her partner, Agent Hellebore, solved both problems by kicking a hole through the door, reaching around, and unlocking it.
“Embarrassing, Aconite,” she supplied, stepping into the light. Hellebore was a she only in the sense that Hellebore wasn’t male. Really, she was a juvinile of a certain space-faring species that was still too young to develop any sexual characteristics and therefore had no gender. But, it was easier for the PPC to lump ‘her’ and Aconite into the female category, since technically in the future they would be able to bear young. Anyway.
Both Agents were less lithe and more wirey, almost pointy with lean muscle and limbs far too long to be human. Their skin was a warm grey speckled with tiny charcoal-colored scales on their forehead and nose ridge. But, that was where the similarities ended.
Hellebore had to practically unfold from the closet, close to six foot eight inches in height. She had torn off the sleeves from her standard issue uniform, and the legs of the uniform looked like rather awkward capris on her. Aconite was a sprite by comparison, four foot eleven inches in height and relatively heavy when compared to Hellebore.
Their footsteps echoed in the empty school hallway, reflections glinting off of the polished floor. Aconite looked at her forearm, frowned, and then pulled a device from her uniform pocket. She hit it a few times before an illusion flickered over both Agents, giving them a teenage human appearance complete with a burgundy school uniform.
As Aconite exited the closet she scratched at the unfamiliar hair on her head. She then turned to her partner, and snorted with laughter. Hellebore’s knee-length skirt was toeing the line between just plain ridiculous and scandalously short. What was knee length on the average Japanese teenage girl was just not that long on Hellebore. Hellebore shrugged. Anyone who got a peek may as well be looking at a Ken doll. Both Agents hauled a pair of black duffel bags out of the closet, and jogged to the other end of the school. There was a prom to crash.
By the time that Aconite and Hellebore arrived, the party was well under way. Possibly the only disco ball left in the year after Colony 195 cast swirling specks of light all over the gym walls. Magenta light from the strings of Christmas lights gave the entire room a ~womantic~ glow just dim enough so that the strangely absent chaperones wouldn’t be able to make out the makings out in every corner of the gymnasium.
Hellebore took out a notebook and pencil, licked the end of the pencil and took some careful notes regarding one couple who had managed to get their braces stuck together. Aconite elbowed the other agent in the side, muttered something about unhealthy obsessions with human mating rituals and scanned the party. It wasn’t hard to spot the Mary Sue. A heart-shaped spotlight outlined a girl with a rather disproportionately sized chest against the dance floor while Heero Yui and Duo Maxwell tussled on the floor. Presumably over her. Her gravity-defying bosoms jiggled with every breath she took as she made a token effort to stop the two Gundam pilots from fighting.
Threats were made. Honor was called into question. Mary soliloquized on the nature of war. Aconite licked her lips and wrote down ‘comparing squabbling hormonal teenagers to war,’ and looked thoughtful. Bored, Hellebore inspected the snack bar, shoving heart-shaped cookies and pate into her mouth, along with the utensils. Silverware groaned and screeched against the Agent’s formidable teeth, and ultimately gave up. But, none could hear it over the pulsing tunes.
Aconite joined her partner behind the snack bar.
“I say we get her when she’s in the bathroom giving birth to her, Duo, and Heero’s tri-parent baby. Seems pretty natural of a thing or two to happen at prom. Death and babies,” Aconite said.
Hellebore swallowed, then opened her mouth to reveal rows upon rows of shiny silver-colored teeth in nightmare-inducing quantities and shapes. The tall Agent was about to say something when some microphone feedback caused the rest of the party goers to face the stage.
“Excuse me. Is there a ‘Mary-Sue’ here?” A girl wearing white pants, black knee-high boots, and an olive green uniform jacket trimmed in burgundy and gold shifted her eyes back and forth.
The story paused, confused. Then it shifted its attention to Mary-Sue for confirmation. In the background, Heero and Duo continued the most pathetic fist-fight in their lives. Heero’s tuxedo shirt ripped.
“Excuse me?” Mary’s eyes shifted from a concerned brown to an angry red.
“Who are you and what are you doing? You’re ruining my prom! I’m supposed to go into labor in three minutes,” The buxom girl made a ‘shoo’ motion with her hand.
“Well, my name is Rowen. I…I’m here to kill you. I think,” The uniformed girl pulled out a photo of Mary wearing a school uniform with a gaping blouse.
“I’ve got this picture and a gun and everything,” her voice wavered with uncertainty, but conviction levels were rising.
“I waited and waited. And then I kept waiting, and you never came. So I waited some more, and now you’re here, so I’m going to do the thing with the gun,” Rowen said.
As the uniformed girl began fumbling with her gun holster, Aconite choked on a mini-quiche. Hellebore ignored her suffocating partner and pointed a small device at the stage. It flashed a few times before reading out:
[ Rowen. Human Female. Non-Canon. Bit-Character ]
“Can I bit do that? Go against the story?” Hellebore murmured.
Aconite tried to cough, and started turning red in the face. The tall Agent stared off into space, skimming the Words to find a solution to the problem. During that time, Aconite slapped herself on the back, punched herself in the stomach, and began turning a little purple.
“Put that away and go back to where you were. It’s not time for me to die yet!” Mary yelled, hands on her hips.
Rowan paused, and bit her lip again.
“But, I’m really really tired of waiting. Can’t I just do the thing now?” She asked.
“Absolutely not! Get out of here, or I’ll replace you with someone else!” Mary’s voice rose further.
With Mary’s concentration wavering, a few students began to muddle their way back to normality. A few started looking around, bewildered at why they were in a gym when their school didn’t even have a gym. Or why they were at a party hosted at a school and there were no adults present. Then someone screamed.
“She’s got a gun!”
The gymnasium erupted into chaos. Students screamed and ducked for cover, several running out of the building and into the night.
“…I’m going to do it,” Rowan said after a near minute of consideration.
Mary took her attention off of Rowan, only to realize that her own control over the situation had collapsed. She screeched, hair turning a bright red and eyes glowing.
Rowan jumped, and took a step backwards.
“I’ll do it,” she said, fear evident in her expression.
Even the wrestling Gundam pilots sensed something was wrong. Heero jumped to his feet, reaching for the gun that should have been there but wasn’t. Duo scratched at his head, trying to fight off the Suvian influence that had wavered just enough for a slip of free will to gain a foothold. Mary roared.
A single pistol rapport rang out above the screams. Silence fell. Aconite finally hacked up a mini quiche after nearly impaling herself on an upside down chair.
Mary looked down, shock spread thick across her face as she watched the blood gush out of her torso. She tried to draw in a breath to say something, but her ruined lung wouldn't take in any air. Aconite drew in a deep breath, puffed out her cheeks and then yelled, “What the shit!”
Rowen dropped the gun, surprised at the result. It clattered to the wooden floor, but failed to discharge. The uniformed young woman looked around the rapidly emptying gym for someone, anyone, to confirm that she had done right.
“I just. I just waited for so long. I waited for so long and she wouldn’t let me do anything…” The bit character’s voice trailed off.
“No no no! Someone stop all of those background characters! I can’t catch them all to neuralyze them!” Aconite tore at her disguise’s hair.
“Forget about them for the moment. We’ve got bigger trouble on our hands,” Hellebore inclined her head towards Rowan and the two Gundam pilots.
The Character Analysis Device began spewing out readings, correcting itself and flashing back and forth between designations. With Mary-Sue’s influence over the fan fic fading, canon was beginning to re-establish itself in spurts and starts. The gun that should have been there materialized, and a pair of black spandex shorts appeared under Heero’s tuxedo pants. Now very aware of the strangeness of the situation, the pilot swung his gun around from target to target. Apparent OZ soldier with gun. Duo. Dying Mary Sue. Duo. The two suspicious students hiding behind the snack table. Duo. OZ soldier. Himself. Before he could decide on who to shoot first, the teenager felt rumbling beneath his formal shoes.
Words swarmed like angry ants, dissolving away from the structures and snacks that they made up into a furious wind inside the gymnasium. Walls groaned and window glass shattered. Both Agents felt a burning sensation, and rolled up the sleeves of their uniform disguises. Each one of them had a white plastic bracelet around their wrists, and each was quickly turning from white, to pink, to red.
“We’re being deleted,” Hellebore stated in a dead-pan.
“What about the—” Aconite began.
“Never mind it. We need to portal, and now. Grab that bit while you’re at it. Headquarters will want to study her,” Hellebore slung both duffle bags over her shoulders and slid a pair of sunglasses over her eyes. Her partner followed suit with a pair of hello-kitty sunglasses. Aconite grinned, fishing a pen-like object out of her pocket, then spun the dial on the Neuralyzer to ‘room’ and pressed the blinking button. A white flash bright enough to blind went off. The wind still howled and the words still ripped themselves apart. But, Duo Maxwell, Heero Yui, and Rowen all stared, slackjawed, as their memories were wiped.
Aconite replaced the neuralyzer in its proper pocket, then pressed a few buttons on another device. A glowing blue portal yawned open under Rowan, causing her to land unceremoniously on her ass in a concrete room. Aconite was the second through, landing on top of the bit character and causing her some amount of distress.
Agent Aconite. A familiar psychic ‘voice’ began, ready to scold up a storm. The face of a sunflower in a grey suit turned towards Rowan.
What is that, and where is Agent— Hellebore came through the portal, landing on top of Aconite and severely squishing Rowan.
Hellebore.
And the world went dark.
